I know this is my personal blog, as oppose to a beauty/fashion (or even a shopping) blog. However, I did want to keep a limit on just how personal I made it. I didn’t want everything to be available in years to come, nor do I want to bore you to the point you stop logging on. Having said that, this post is a rather personal one.
The other day I didn’t have such a good day. Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have caught a glimpse of that. For the first time, I had one of those days that when someone asked how if I was okay, I actually cried. I cried full on fat tears – in the middle of the office, on the afternoon of the Christmas party. This is very unlike me. I then could not stop the tears, they just wouldn’t stop flowing. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara! I can’t tell you how glad I am that I didn’t have the whole mascara streaking thing going on either!
I’m the kind of person that when I do cry, it’s in private – not everyone needs to know about my pain. It was the kind of crying I needed to do after things had built up and I was just carrying on. I later knew it to be a form of release. That evening, only one thing was needed – my mum! I cried in her arms, she may not be able to make things better but she is what I needed at that time. I lay on her bed and just cried and cried and cried. I even got to the point of crying that I gave myself a headache and an earache. I even cried to the point that I didn’t even know why I was crying. She told me that I needed to let it out my systems as it’s getting rid of toxins.
That night I even cried myself to sleep. Before doing so, I didn’t realise how important crying was. I have heard people saying about needing a good old cry and I actually really felt I needed that. The following morning my eyes were hurting and I was still crying. I really must have kept those tears stocked up.
As it was coming to the end of the year, I was thinking of all the times I cried this year. I can only remember one time in June. Actually I have probably cried at movies or something sad on the news – but that doesn’t really count. This cannot be good. Although I cried the following morning too, I still felt quite sad. However, there was something different and I did really feel better for having cried. I really need to do more of this, but probably not the night before a heavy work day.
I probably don’t handle things personally so well when they do go wrong – I move on without really having felt the pain of things. I am a great believer of needing to hurt. How else can you enjoy the good times if you have not seen how bad things can get. Also, pain makes us stronger and builds us up.
Moving into 2012, I have a new motto. Whenever something bad happens, I will allow myself just one day to cry or be miserable about it. Then move on, there is no need to let the misery build up. It’s like a natural therapy session or having a massage – but free!
I don’t know whether this post will help anyone, but I just wanted to share what a few hours of having a good cry can do.
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